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Stealth
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A Review By Rocksolidus

stealth.jpg

Stealth
 
Director: Rob Cohen
Cast: Josh Lucas, Jessica Biel, Jamie Foxx, Joe Morton, Richard Roxburgh
RatedPG-13: for intense action, some violence, brief strong language and innuendo.
 
Where to begin, well, perhaps at the beginning, but that wouldn't really make any difference would it? I was thinking that maybe Blade Trinity was just a tough spot for Biel, maybe she just hadn't gotten out of her 7th Heaven days yet, until last night when I saw this movie. Horse diahrea it was, and let me just tell you right now, no Jessica Biel doesn't die in the movie, so that doesn't even redeem it.
 
Josh Lucas seemed to play an alright role in this movie, and I might say that he portrayed the character quite nicely, until he became jealous of a freaking machine, had an emotionaly sincere talk with it, and then they became friends.
 
If the lightening storm would screw with the plane's central neural system, then it isn't going to listen to reason. Wait, its a freaking jet, it shouldn't be listening to reason in the first place. It should disobey orders and masacre millions of N. Koreans, but instead it tactfully pulls off its mission and calmy plays cat and mouse with the other fighter jets.
 
I do have to give a stand-up applause to Jamie Foxx for having enough brains to die in the movie. No, I would like to get reamed by a thousand carniverous penguins rather than being one of the last people alive in the movie and be the last thing the audience sees before they go and down a bottle of cyonide. Heres to you Jamie Foxx for having balls to die.
 
Don't waste your money, half the movie isn't even about fighter jets or anything remotley related to combat. Theres a underlying theme here, a love story, a tale of two naval pilots in the same crew that would never be accepted for loving each other. Touching, I cried....because I hate watching people commit suicide, well, not litterally, career suicide. But the movie would have been better if they did kill themselves, or the N. Koreans had better aim.
 
Bad Points-thats right, straight to the bad points, because there really aren't any good.
-Emotional drama that did not relate to the story
-Vacationing in Tailand? WTF?
-Jessica Biel
 
Good Points
-okay i thought of one...the computer controlled jet fighter had some badass taste in music...I know what you're thinking, jet fighters don't listen to music, but i'm an optimistic... : )
 
Rating: Horse S***/10

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