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The Chronicles of Narnia
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A Review by Joekool

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The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe
 
Director- Andrew Adamson
Cast- Tilda Swinton, James McAvoy, James Cosmo, Jim Broadbent, Elizabeth Hawthorne
Rated PG: for battle sequences, and frightening moments
Running time- 132min
 
Here we have the director of Shrek attempting to bring one of the beloved literature classics by C.S. Lewis to life. Lets just get right to it...he should not have attempted.
 
I was highly dissapointed in this film. I was at least expecting to be entertained by a great fantasy story, but i didnt even get that. It was slow, stretched, boring, etc. But Im not just gonna talk about its bad attributes and leave it at that, im gonna break it down...cause i am pissed.
 
When it began I thought i was in for a good film. The farewell between the kids and their mother at the train station was done well, and the score was beautiful. Then the kids get to the mansion where the mysterious wardrobe resides. Now it begins to slow, dreadfully. It takes them longer than one would want to find the wardrobe and go through it. "Just go through the damn thing already." By this time i noticed how bad the acting was. Especially by the girl who played Lucy, she overracted way too much, and that is surprising cause she is so young. The actor who played Peter was the only one of the children I could handle, his acting was on par. Ok so fianlly now we get them all through the wardrobe, I thought now it should be getting better, but no. I was forced to witness more stretching of the story, some very crappy CGI wolves, slower pacing. My pissyness was intensifying to say the least.
 
Ok lets skip ahead to they now meet Aslan, well at leat all but one of them. Emdund is off with the White Witch, played by Tilda Swinton, her performance was average, maybe a little above. Ok so now we have Aslan, the greatest character of them all, or so i thought. His voice is that of the awesome Liam Neeson, but the voice does nto fit the Lion correctly, it just doesnt fit. Also, the character of Aslan was not built up at all, we know he is a good guy, but thats it. Basically its like "Heres Alsan everyone" and hes thrown at us. He was a stranger whos name we knew, thats pretty much it.
 
1, 2, skip a few 100. Now lets get to the climax. The battle between Narnia and the White Witch. This actually wasnt that bad, but you could tell it was a battle that was made so children could watch it, there was hardly any intensity at all, But i was relieved when we finally made it to the battle, cause the rest of the film was complete garbage. But before the battle begins the kids recieve weapons (it actually recieve them earlier on, but thats beside the point). Susan gets a bow of which she only fires once the entire movie, Lucy gets a dagger which she never uses, and Peter gets a sword. None have them, as far as we know, have any experience with weapons or war but yet they managed to weild them with the ability of a veteran...pathetic.
 
But the biggest flaw of this film, the one that made me want to puke....is that the kids never showed any realistic FEAR! "Hey 14ish year old boy who goes by Peter" says a minotaur soldier, "Since Aslan is gone, you must lead our army in war against the White witch, who has incredible power, and has a larger army than our own...the fate of Narnia lies in your hands." Peter says "Yeah sure whatever, I dont got anything else to do around here." Of course thats not right from the film, but thats basically the just of it. Even the 6-year oldish Lucy was willing to fight with her tiny dagger, and im sure she wouldnt be afraid of a giant creature of the Witch that was skilled in combat... freaking stupid!
 
Overall this film may please some, and probably most kids who dont know what good filmmaking is. The score is excellent and the battle at the end does redeem the boringness a little, but not much. But this movie is not worth seeing in theaters...wait for the DVD. I apologize for the oversized review.
 
Good Points
-Some moments of the battle
-Score
 
Bad Points
-Bad acting by the children
-Children showed no realistic fear
-Slow
-Stretched
-Some bad visual effects
 
Rating- 5.5/10
 
 

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