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The Earnest Man

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This Page is for you to email me comments you have about my site. Does it suck, are my reviews horrible or masterful? Just any comment or feedback will be welcomed.
It is also a place that I will express my thoughts on certain things, mostly to deal with the world of cinema. Take note that it is my opinion and it is not fact, although sometimes i like to think it is ;)


Five good reasons why we didnt see Fantastic Four
By Joekool
1. The director of the movie is the guy who directed "Taxi." which most wise and intelligent people would call worse than orc excretement. Why in the blue freaking lagoon did the studio hire that guy, freaking idiots!
2. Jessica Alba. She's only a good actress when she doesnt speak. While we do agree that she is hot, that still doesnt help her vomit inducing acting. Another thing. Why do people cast females who are clearly labeled in society as "low intelligence" as scientists in movies. for instance Tara Ried played a scientist in "Alone in the Dark", another film that also sucked.
3. League of Extraordinary Gentlemen anyone? both films have basically the same plotline. Evil guy with power, a bunch og good guys with power try to stop evil guy. And you know what, League of Extraordinary Gentelmen was like watching a hammer hit you in the face over and over again. Hopefully FF4 isnt as bad as that, but I geuss I will never find out.
4. Nauseating one liners. Likein the trailer when The Thing says, "Its clobbering time." I have to mute that part every time I see the trailer on TV, I just cant take that much pain as I listen to a pathetic delivery by an actor who should stick to his Shield TV series, which I never watch. That torch guy also has some hatred summoning one-liners tha makes me cringe and nearly go into convulsions. Unless they showed all the crappy dialouge sequences in the trailer, then this movie's script mst definately will blow!
5. Right now its has a rottentomatoes score of 26%. That means its considered "rotten." to be fresh a film would have to get above 60%, which FF4 is far from. You might say that you shouldnt listen to the critics cause thats their opinion, and see it for yourself. I completely agree with that statement. But i never wanted to see this film in the first place, cause in my opinion I thought it would suck, and it looks like the most of the critics and probably the world after this weekend agrees with me.
Why George Lucas Can Die!
by Joekool
This man created the Original Star Wars trilogy, which was masterpiece's of cinema. But did you know that the best Star Wars film, The Empire Strikes Back, wasnt even directed by George Lucas? No you didnt. It was directed by Irvin Kershner, a nobody, that no one knows about. Even Return of the Jedi was not directed by Lucas.
Lucas then decides that he needs to continue the SW saga by makin the prequal trilogy. Leonard Maltin (a movie critic) asked Lucas why he was making the prequal trilogy. He responded, "Well the back story was there all along, I had to have it to make the originals." But why in the hell didnt he start with the prequals. I know the damn answer. He likes to money and the way it feels against his fat cottage cheese body.
Another thing that fills me with rage is the CG overdose we get with the new SW films. Its like watching an animated movie. WHY LUCAS! why must you take a big sh*t on those films and make every little piece of movement CG. I bet the air they were breathing was fake. And also with the new overdose of CG we were introduced to the anti-christ, Jar Jar take a pinneapple soaked in butter and have a rhino force it up my anus with a ford taurus BINKS! 
I saw a kid once that imitated Binks, just messing around and having fun. I cut out his tounge with plastic scissors. I just told the authorities that George Lucas made me do it, and they understood completely. Infact I believe they sentenced the kid to 5 years community service for impersonation of sh*t!!!!
Also Lucas decided that he is gonna go back and continue to change the originals so that they coincide better with the prequals. He shoved Anikan' young form at the Ewok celebrtion in at the end of Return of the Jedi. Lucas just doesnt get it. SW is not his film, it is the peoples.
I hope Lucas gets run over by a malicious herd of Gazells(sp) who are in heat and then maybe justice and mercy will be served. Here's to Episode III hopefully being better than the last two.
Dont ge me worng, I love the Star Wars films (not episodes I & II, which is why im writing this), but I think Lucas could have definately made the prequals better than they are.

The Media Can Be Poisonous - Rocksolidus
I would like to tell about a few media moments in which I had the terrible urge to vomit every last bit of my intestines, esauphogus, lungs, heart, all of my lymph nodes, and my toes onto the floor, wall, people standing near me, people across state, and interplanetary.
Blade Trinity- My closest possible guess would be that Jessica Beal was in it, yeah she's cute and everything, but in a moving picture I get nauscious.
Cher- Every sinlge one of her concerts, photos, sound bytes, appearances. Well any thought that crosses my mind makes me want to grow finger nails, just so I can enjoy clawing my brains out of my skull.
Gigli- The other day I saw the opening credits and my whole body went into involuntary spasms. Was it the combination of Ben Affleck and J-Lo? I think it was because the movie was not only nominated and won the World's Best-Worst Movie award by a clean-sweep, but it is the entire reason why the category was created in the first place.
Ewoks I&II- .............
Ninja Turtle's Live Musical(on tape)- Stop laughing, I feel bad enough for enduring the 5 minutes that I watched. Okay, it was 20, and this time I actually did throw-up.
Barney, Power Rangers, Teletubies and any form of cable television aimed at helping children develope their motor skills.
You cannot tell me that Marylin Manson had anything to do with kids shooting up their classmates and totally disregard these pieces of rhinocerous bile. You people make me sick.

Stupid is as stupid does
The world is consistently becoming stupider and stupider, and heres the symptoms. Lets see if you are suffering from them.
1) Repeated any catch phrases from "popular" movies in place of any glimmer of a conversation. Think about it, you probably have. Some of the most recent and notable ones include Napolean Dynamite, Shrek 1&2, and any Will Farrel or Ben Stiller movies.
2) Complained about how much your job sucks regardless of the attitude you have ever had about it or the amount of effort you have put forth. How good of an outlook do/did you actually have?
3) Ever wondered what a social security number is, especially if you were currently employed at the time, and contributing to that fund from your paycheck.
4) Drove to the next town because their gasoline prices were a couple of pennies cheaper per gallon.
5) If you have ever stated or agreed with the statement, "I liked (movie name) because (actor/actress name) is (hot/sexy) and they (are naked/have a nice butt)."
Now that you have reviewed these symptoms and probably identified with them, gather yourself and quit being such a freaking moron. Its people like you that bring down the greater good, knock it off and get an education!

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