Five good reasons why we didnt see Fantastic Four
1. The director of the movie is the guy who directed "Taxi." which most wise and intelligent
people would call worse than orc excretement. Why in the blue freaking lagoon did the studio hire that guy,
2. Jessica Alba. She's only a good actress when she doesnt speak. While we do agree that
she is hot, that still doesnt help her vomit inducing acting. Another thing. Why do people cast females who are
clearly labeled in society as "low intelligence" as scientists in movies. for instance Tara Ried played a scientist in "Alone
in the Dark", another film that also sucked.
3. League of Extraordinary Gentlemen anyone? both films have basically the same plotline.
Evil guy with power, a bunch og good guys with power try to stop evil guy. And you know what, League of Extraordinary Gentelmen
was like watching a hammer hit you in the face over and over again. Hopefully FF4 isnt as bad as that, but I geuss I will
never find out.
4. Nauseating one liners. Likein the trailer when The Thing says, "Its clobbering time."
I have to mute that part every time I see the trailer on TV, I just cant take that much pain as I listen to a pathetic delivery
by an actor who should stick to his Shield TV series, which I never watch. That torch guy also
has some hatred summoning one-liners tha makes me cringe and nearly go into convulsions. Unless they showed all the crappy
dialouge sequences in the trailer, then this movie's script mst definately will blow!
5. Right now its has a rottentomatoes score of 26%. That means its considered "rotten." to
be fresh a film would have to get above 60%, which FF4 is far from. You might say that you shouldnt listen to the critics
cause thats their opinion, and see it for yourself. I completely agree with that statement. But i never wanted to see this
film in the first place, cause in my opinion I thought it would suck, and it looks like the most of the critics and probably
the world after this weekend agrees with me.
Why George Lucas Can Die!
This man created the Original Star Wars trilogy, which was masterpiece's of cinema. But did you know
that the best Star Wars film, The Empire Strikes Back, wasnt even directed by George Lucas? No you didnt. It was directed
by Irvin Kershner, a nobody, that no one knows about. Even Return of the Jedi was not directed by Lucas.
Lucas then decides that he needs to continue the SW saga by makin the prequal trilogy. Leonard Maltin
(a movie critic) asked Lucas why he was making the prequal trilogy. He responded, "Well the back story was there all along,
I had to have it to make the originals." But why in the hell didnt he start with the prequals. I know the damn answer. He
likes to money and the way it feels against his fat cottage cheese body.
Another thing that fills me with rage is the CG overdose we get with the new SW films. Its like watching
an animated movie. WHY LUCAS! why must you take a big sh*t on those films and make every little piece of movement CG. I bet
the air they were breathing was fake. And also with the new overdose of CG we were introduced to the anti-christ, Jar Jar
take a pinneapple soaked in butter and have a rhino force it up my anus with a ford taurus BINKS!
I saw a kid once that imitated Binks, just messing around and having fun. I cut out his tounge with
plastic scissors. I just told the authorities that George Lucas made me do it, and they understood completely. Infact I believe
they sentenced the kid to 5 years community service for impersonation of sh*t!!!!
Also Lucas decided that he is gonna go back and continue to change the originals so that they coincide
better with the prequals. He shoved Anikan' young form at the Ewok celebrtion in at the end of Return of the Jedi. Lucas just
doesnt get it. SW is not his film, it is the peoples.
I hope Lucas gets run over by a malicious herd of Gazells(sp) who are in heat and then maybe justice
and mercy will be served. Here's to Episode III hopefully being better than the last two.
Dont ge me worng, I love the Star Wars films (not episodes I & II, which is
why im writing this), but I think Lucas could have definately made the prequals better than they are.